Beyond the Rules: You're not paying for the talk

Why the definition of a rule often matters more than the rule itself

Here’s something I wish I’d remembered when I was writing my book Humanizing Rules. If I had, it would definitely have made the cut.

One of the things you learn working for yourself is that a strict reading of rules can miss what’s actually going on.

When someone books me to speak, I ask for a 50% deposit to hold the date.

Most people understand that. One didn’t. They told me their policy didn’t allow them to pay for services before they’d been delivered.

But that wasn’t what I was asking for.

They weren’t paying for the talk; they were paying to reserve a slot in my diary.

Once I block time, I’m no longer available to do other things. And if the event is cancelled — as they sometimes are — I’m exposed to risk beyond my control.

The deposit isn’t pre-payment for a service; it’s a commitment, offset against the final invoice.

So I asked:

“How are you booking the venue and catering if you can’t pay deposits?”

A pause.

And just like that, the rule no longer applied.

Which taught me two things:

That strict application of rules can lead to the wrong outcome.

And that what feels obvious to me — this isn’t a pre-payment — isn’t always obvious to others.

Thanks for reading. If this made you curious about Humanizing Rules, you can download the first few chapters for free here. And if you’re booking me to speak — my pricing is transparent — that’s why I’ll be asking for a deposit.