Beyond the Rules: The Price of a Nudge

Why the act of meekly complying could put your audience off for good.

One of the frustrating things about writing a book is realising ideas you could’ve included after handing in the manuscript. So, here’s an exclusive story for my newsletter readers — one I remembered recently that would’ve definitely made it into Humanizing Rules if I’d thought of it in time.

There’s a great coffee shop in Munich I used to visit. Part of a chain, though it never felt like one. They roast their own beans, sell great kit, and make a mean espresso tonic.

(That’s espresso over tonic water. Sounds odd. Tastes amazing.)

One day, I wasn’t even buying coffee—I was buying a grinder. At the till, they handed me one of those sleek touchscreen terminals, the kind that flash tipping options before you can pay.

And like I always do, I tapped to leave a tip.

Only afterwards did I realise that the suggested percentage wasn’t calculated on a cup of coffee.

Of course, it wasn’t. I wasn’t buying one.
It was based on the price of the grinder; a much bigger number.

My friend Paul Dornan later pointed out that I’d meekly complied.
It’s a phrase that perfectly explains it.

I’d been socially conditioned to tip; so I did, automatically.
The system worked exactly as designed.

But I haven’t been back since.

It’s strange, isn’t it?
One small moment, perfectly legal, barely noticeable…
And yet it stuck.

Short-term win for the staff.
Long-term loss for the business.

They didn’t break any rules.
But they lost a customer.

All because something didn’t feel right.